A Look at New Words

I never know what I'll learn on any given day. It could be a tidbit of knowledge about the universe or a new slang term. This week it was both. The cosmos was the discussion among some physicists that were assisting a researcher with some lasers. I had never heard some of the terms and was struggling to figure out what they were talking about. It took some concentration but figured out they were discussing fermions, tachyons, and branes. Sometimes I swear that physicists make up words just to make themselves seem smarter. Add some heavy slavic accents on top of it and you can appreciate my confusion. I made their day by trying to understand and asking questions - or maybe I was the only non-relative female to interact with them in the last decade. Either way they were kind and very eager to explain everything to me. The TV show "The Big Bang Theory" surely is drawn from real life. Ivan (pronounced EEEE -von) gave me his card and told me I could call him anytime if I wanted to discuss string theory. That call is not going to happen.

The new slang term was cankle. I had never heard it before. A coworker stated that her fiance had told her that if she ever developed cankles he was "out of here". It sounded like some sort of skin condition or infection but I was wrong. (I'm betting all of you knew what this meant and I was the only person on the planet in the dark.) So after laughing at me, the meaning was divulged. Really?! It is an obese or otherwise swollen ankle that blends into the calf without clear demarcation. Hoping my sister doesn't take offense but she was born with cankles. Unfortunately, she didn't take advantage of her physical attributes and become a figure skater or a hockey player. I even asked son#2 about cankles. Of course he knew exactly what they were - launching into a description of a SNL skit about Monica Lewinsky. This is all Xanga's fault. If I wasn't on xanga all the time I would have been watching SNL and Mad TV and known all about cankles...

Glaring at Excel

I remember my father ranting about users that had no concept of what a computer application was or was not capable of doing. He would growl and grumble about them asking for things that either made no sense or were nearly impossible for him to provide using their program. Once he said that computers could be programmed to do many things but they were not designed to wash dishes or make toast. I thought about that statement for a long time. Later I paired it with the cryptic "garbage in, garbage out" computerese. Today I became my father.

During a meeting I was more or less blind sided with the suggestion that occupational health reviews be every 3 years instead of annually. Before I could even raise an objection, a motion was made and seconded. A vote and it was done. Discussion occurred after the vote - backwards but hey, it's academia! Reviews will be individual instead of by lab group. I'll have to drastically change the way I do things. Which means a lot of extra work (in my free time).

It was suggested that everything could be solved with an Excel spread sheet. Excel is a powerful tool. It just isn't the best tool for the job. Access would be much better. The database that is up and running is better still. Talk was focused on Excel and they just wouldn't leave it alone - "Just enter their names into Excel. Just put in the date of their Occupational Health Review. Just sort them. Simple." That is all well and good but what about training, which protocols they are authorized to work on, their lab affiliation, contact info?.... "Just make another column." ARRGGH!

I am going to read the book again. I'm going to the library and getting "FileMakerPro for Dummies" I will develop a report in FileMakerPro that does what they are asking. I will extract the information necessary from the current database - I will NOT create an Excel spread sheet!

Reading Tea Leaves

Sometimes I can't get warm. Maybe it is the getting old thing, maybe the thyroid thing, or maybe I just need some help.

The rain comes down cold

I live with damp clothes and hair

As cold brewed green tea

Warm me up, add sugar sweet

Stirred and poured, drink me down

Watching the Wind Work

They rise up a great flock

Wheeling over the tree tops

                I squint to see them clearly

And swooping down

Across corn fields

To circle and sweep

Past beans unharvested

                I marvel at the grace in flight

Settling gently at road side

Only to be startled by traffic

And taking to the air to

Share the space with sparrows

                I wish to be a leaf as well

The winds have brought more rain. It is really of no matter at this point. The leaves have been stripped from the trees here during the rain storms all last week. There are sodden piles of wet leaves in front of all the houses. Those that live in areas that allow burning are stuck with the piles as well. On our trip to Muncie, we took the back roads to see some fall color. There is no color other than gray and  brown. What we did see were large flocks of sparrows and crows winging from the tops of trees. But on several occasions we were fooled by the wind. 

Watching Soldiers

Pale tattered ghosts

In bleak November days

Soldiers defeated, remain at attention

Uniforms wind whipped remnants

Standing row upon silent row

Maintaining ranks in disciplined order

Wind tousled and wanting

The corn soldiers wait for the reaper

With all the rain the farmers haven't been able to get their corn and beans in. We saw very few harvested fields on the way down and back from Muncie. The corn ears are hanging straight down and there is not a spot of green in any field. I worry that the corn may mold in this wetter than usual weather. The beans on the other hand just might be lost if they aren't brought in before the pods split and spill their bounty. I can imagine that the sparrows and crows will continue their feast and soon the deer will crash the party.

post script: I worked on this over the last weekend and showed it to my mother. She told me of a poem she had done earlier on the same topic. I encouraged her to post it (even if she says she isn't a poet). So please drop by her blog and give her some encouragement!