This is the day when many people break out the New Year's Resolutions. I dislike making resolutions (aka empty promises). Just because you write it down on a piece of paper or type it in a blog doesn't magically make it happen. As always it is more about making goals (that is a dream with a plan attached). I am very familiar with goals right now. I have several goals attached to my performance evaluation that are growling and spitting at me. There is a plan with a time line and target dates THAT MUST BE MET. It is a difficult thing to squeeze every drop of time from the day lest you fall behind. With that said, here are a few of my personal goals for 2017:

♥ Mend and organize my work uniforms. This means I will need to try them on, sort them into the keep pile versus the sell pile, and then mend the ones that need to be mended before taking them to work. My time frame is sort them all by the end of January and finish mending by the end of February.

♥ Sort my closets and pull out all the items I want to get rid of at the garage sale. Yep. Sparky wants to have a garage sale this year. The neighborhood sale is always the first Saturday of May which makes it May 6th this coming year. I will need to complete the closet purge by the last weekend in April to allow Sparky time to set it all up for the garage sale.

♥ Eat the food stockpiled in the freezer and pantry. We seem to accumulate food. With the boys out of the house we find ourselves eating multiple meals from what in the past fed 4 with enough leftover for a couple lunches. So the plan is to only purchase the necessities like produce, bread, eggs and milk. It will be good to get creative with meals and at the same time clear some of the jello and tomato soup out of the pantry.

♥ Hang the Wine and Canvas paintings I've done. Or make Sparky hang them. I currently have one out of seven paintings displayed. That is only because I already had a nail in the wall and was planning on tossing the dried flowers hanging there. Lucky for me the painting looked really good with the color scheme and style of the room. I've already decided that the van Gogh style painting will complement the basement recreation room with the already hung van Gogh prints and the van Gogh pictures rendered in crewelwork by my grandmother... The others will have to be displayed perhaps in a rotation through the family room, computer room, spare room, and my sewing room. The time frame for this to be completed is March 1st. Unless I paint another picture...

Before I married Sparky he had some habits that I found disconcerting. I think he found it amusing to make the store security people follow him around the store - K-Mart especially. The first time I witnessed it, I was mortified! He was shopping for socks and some other items. I had grabbed a cart and was filling it with my few purchases. He refused to put his stuff in my cart and instead put them in his coat pockets. Of course I said something to the effect of "Don't put stuff in your pockets! The security guards are going to arrest you!" His response was to laugh and assure me that he had every intention of emptying his pockets at the checkout. I didn't approve and I let him know that.

Fast forward 10 years and we were married and had children. He had not pulled the "put it in your pocket" stunt for a long time. Son#1 was old enough to want things and to be told no. He decided he wanted something badly and took it and put it in his pocket (I think it was a pack of gum). It was a teachable moment and I think the turning point for Sparky to give up his habit of putting things in his pockets instead of using a shopping cart or basket. You know, setting a good example for the boys and such.

So the point of all of this is that we attended a very swanky Christmas party put on by the university. In the course of going through the buffet line, Sparky put some silverware in his pocket. He wasn't planning on stealing it. He just wanted an extra hand to juggle his two plates and drink. This event was Dec. 15th. On December 24th he discovered the pilfered silverware in his coat pocket (wore the dress coat to the party and then didn't put it on again until Christmas Eve Mass). He was overcome with guilt and remorse. He wanted to know if there was an amnesty program where he could return the stolen goods - no questions asked. Sadly I had to inform him that it didn't work that way. So I am now in possession of some "hot" forks. I will take them to work in the new year and put them in my lunch bin. The next time we have a university catered event I'll slip them onto the table and let the catering staff gather them up. No one will be the wiser.

I thought after all these years he had reformed! Sheesh!

Every year I am torn between using a cute calendar, an art calendar, a religious calendar or a planning calendar. I have a perpetual calendar for my desk at work. It is nice with an inspirational message daily. The drawbacks are that it doesn't have the days of the week nor does it identify holidays. In years past, I would get calendars mailed to me from various companies vying for my business. I would get them from pet food companies and pharmaceutical companies. Some of them had art work others had photographs. I hung them up and when the year ended I'd cut out the pictures to use in teaching or on bulletin boards. Now I only get one in the mail and I have to "opt in" to get it. Sadly it is not very flashy so I'm looking for a better one. For the last couple of years Sparky and I have used the calendars they give away at church - sponsored by competing funeral homes. I put a calendar on my Christmas list. Sparky came through with a perfect calendar for the kitchen. It has lots of space to write in appointments and birthdays. It came with stickers to note vacations, doctor's appointments, anniversaries and weddings, and even when daylight savings time starts and ends!

This year I'm not going to wait until February to try to find that special calendar for my office. Nope. This time I'm going to be proactive. I am actively going to find one while on vacation. There are some crazy neat places in Atlanta and Pensacola. Surely there will be a calendar that strikes my fancy... So inquiring minds want to know. What kind of calendar did you have this year and what are you getting for 2017?

We have entered the Christmas Time. Yep. It isn't just one day. Until Epiphany we are in the Christmas season. Now is when you wish everyone a Merry Christmas. The Christmas decorations at church will remain and the ones at home too. It makes me so sad to see all the trees stripped bare and tossed to the curb for trash pickup the morning after Christmas day.

We are in Atlanta heading to Pensacola Beach today. Yesterday was a Hobbit-like second Christmas with my sister's family. We seem to be eating second breakfasts too! We distributed our gifts and received gifts as well. It was all good! According to a newspaper article by Michelle Singletary One out of every three gift recipients in the U.S. returned at least one gift item during the 2013 holiday season with the total dollars of returned gifts estimated at $262.4 billion! The reasons behind the returns were categorized by Deborah Cohn, a marketing professor at the New York Institute of Technology. She said there were 5 categories of purposefully bad gifts:

1. Threats to self-concept. This is when someone buys a gift to try to change someone.
2. To you, for me. This would be the category for the big-screen TV the husband purchases.
3. Aggression - spiteful gifts. There are times when you are buying a gift and you know the person isn’t going to like it.
4. Ritual and obligation. There’s no mischief intended but no thought is given to the gift either.
5. Bragging. Their intention is to show off.

I really try to avoid these categories of gifting. But I've experienced them. I remember the exercise bike Sparky bought me in 1991. It was not what I wanted and he seemed to be telling me I needed to change how I looked... I never did use that contraption. It was not designed for women anyway. He ended up using it himself. So it was a combination of #1 and #2 from the list above. I have to say that I've received too many of the gifts that fall into #4. There was the snowman statue, the red and green scented candles, and the leg warmers - all very nice gifts but just not "me". Then there are the gifts that are just perfect. They are not necessarily expensive. They can be hand made or not. They do however touch on a memory or a promise or even an unspoken longing. They are universally given from the heart. The gift is more than what is in the box. You know the instant when you open it that it was meant for you and you alone! That is what I strive for. That's why it takes me so long to get all my shopping done. That's why I start in January and attempt to get it done by Halloween. Sometimes I am successful and sometimes I probably fall short. It is hit or miss but I keep trying. This year's gift to my sister was a home run!!

As you read this Sparky and I are already several hours on the road. The plan is to leave at 4:00 AM and drive straight through to Atlanta, Georgia. I had the suitcases packed before Christmas and we loaded the car Christmas day after all the festivities had died down. This will be the first trip to visit my youngest sister in about 5 years. I had hoped it would be a sort of "family reunion" as my mother had suggested. When we started making plans, it was quickly discovered that we were the only ones who were going to be able to make it! Instead it will be a smaller more intimate gathering. We will get to visit with my niece and nephew. The nephew has a very serious girlfriend who we will meet for the first time. After we celebrate Christmas, we will all pack up and drive to the Tiki House at Pensacola Beach for the rest of the week! I'm excited on several fronts. First I will get to see the Tiki House. Second I will be able to visit with my sister and her family, and then as a bonus I will be able to visit with Crystalline!!

However I'm getting ahead of myself. We are looking at an eleven hour drive today. It is cold and the weather forecast is for snow. That could mean some slower going. If we can get through Tennessee without running into icy roads we'll be basically home free! Other than potty stops and the necessary refueling stops, we are planning on driving straight through. I packed a lunch that we can eat in the car of leftovers from yesterday's feast. We have our pillows and a couple blankets because we are from northern Indiana and we are prepared. (It is recommended that you carry water, snacks, blankets and flares in addition to your regular emergency kit for the winter. It comes in handy if you are stranded in a snow bank at night.) Anyway, we are also carrying gifts for everyone. I'm pretty sure my sister is excited that I will be delivering her Christmas from last year. She knows what it is already. I'm pretty sure I can't top this gift - ever. It is that good!

Merry Christmas Xangaland! Sparky and I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Safe and Happy New Year!

Christmas Eve is here. Today has the whole family in a feverish state of anticipation! All the gifts are under the tree taunting us to dare shake the packages and make a guess. We have selected our best holiday outfits to wear to the Midnight Mass. The church will be candle lit and festooned with a glorious display of poinsettias and gold and brocade fabric. There will be incense and the choir will sing like angels. It will be wonderful. Tonight is the the vigil. We will stay up late and look at the sky. We won't be looking for St. Nick and 8 tiny reindeer flying through the night. No, we will be looking for that star and listening for the angelic hosts to proclaim the birth of Jesus. We want to be struck with awe and wonder like those shepherds keeping watch in the night. When I lay my head on the pillow, I will close my eyes and dream. There won't be visions of sugar plums but rather I will dream of the warmth of salvation. I will dream of a promise kept. And maybe I will dream of the joy that is family - my family and the Holy Family. What will you dream about tonight?

Sparky has always liked nativity sets. Over the years we have had several. One of our first was hand made from home-made play-doh. I made it using cardboard cones and toothpicks. The boys were in preschool and they helped by making the sheep and cow. It was our only nativity until the next year when son #1 made a diorama nativity in kindergarten. We displayed them both for many years. One Christmas I opened the decorations and upon extracting the carefully padded and packed nativity discovered that time and mice had destroyed Mary, Jesus, and 2 out of the 3 wise men. There was a wail that went up when it was determined that the nativity was beyond repair. I was immediately commissioned to replace it with a ceramic version as close to the original as possible. Thus the nativity below was created.

Over the course of a few years the camels and sheep were added along with the cow. Only the animals are whistles. I figured it might not be very proper to make the people into whistles. I just can't conscience blowing in Mary's backside.

This nativity was a gift to Sparky one Christmas from my parents. It is a very traditional porcelain set. The figures are quite large making it a challenge to find a big enough spot to get all the pieces set up. This year we found room on the family room entertainment center. As soon as the old "big box" TV dies it will be replaced with a flat screen and the entertainment center will go away! The nativity will have to find another display area... As you might notice the baby Jesus is missing. He won't appear in the manger until Christmas eve. Sparky is very insistent on that point.

The kitchen nativity is one my Mother gave us shortly after son #1 was born. It is plastic and nearly indestructible. Making it very kid-friendly. It is however very small and we tend to put it up out of reach. The kitchen window has traditionally been its spot!

Sparky managed to find this set at a rummage sale. He is enamored of the Playmobil figures since he had them as a child. These are the vintage set. They still make them but they've been updated - newer is not always better... I decided to give the angel wings and suspend her from the tree so that she appears to hover over the Holy Family.

This last set was one of those things that just appeared in our decorating boxes. I can't remember if it was a gift form a Sunday School student, a door prize at a Christmas Party at church, something I picked up in an after Christmas sale, or a find at a garage sale. Who knows? It is however a very 1960's stylized nativity in a durable wood. It has always found a spot in the living room. It isn't flashy or ornate - just a simple creche. I like it  better than the big fancy porcelain version. I always think that that first Christmas was rather a simple affair. Not counting the angel chorus and all the shepherds...

Yesterday was a hard day. My friend and coworker, Mr. Fudd, received a phone call just before noon. It was to tell him that his older brother had died. He was only 48. The preliminary cause is assumed to have been a heart attack. He didn't have any history of heart problems. He woke up feeling ill. Got out of bed and made it to the hallway before collapsing. He died at the hospital not long after the ambulance delivered him to the emergency room. He leaves a wife and 2 daughters. Mr. Fudd was distraught. He came to my office to let me know that he wouldn't be back to work until after the holidays. Struggling with his own emotions, he confided that he was the one that was going to have to go tell his parents the bad news. This is going to be the most difficult thing he has had to do in a very long time. It will be devastating for his parents and he was afraid it might precipitate a health crisis especially for his mother. I have been writing about the helplessness when there are losses and now this news. It just reinforces my feelings that all things are temporary. Our lives are transient. I want to make sure that I savor the days I have and embrace the beauty of this life. We can dwell on the negative and all we will see is the ugly parts of the world and human nature. Instead I want to look beyond the violence and hatred and see the divine spark in each person. I want to look for the good and see the love in the world. I'm not saying we should ignore hurt, but we can't let that part of living blind us to the beauty of life.