January 31, 2017
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Looking Introspectively
It is a good thing to let your inner self out to play. We tend to repress who we really are until we forget who were were and don't like who we've become. Although it can happen to everyone, it seems to me that women are more susceptible to societal pressures to conform.
Case in point - When I was in high school a speaker presented on careers in my college prep English class. He asked for a show of hands for those planning on going to college. All the hands went up. Then he asked for those in class who were planning on majoring in education or business. Half the class raised their hands (all the girls but 2). Then he asked how many were planning on going into science and engineering. Again half the class (all the boys and one girl) raised their hands. That left me as the only one not raising their hand. He pointed to me and asked, "What do you plan on majoring in?" I replied "Veterinary Medicine." I stated it in a rather matter of fact tone but the response was an incredulous, "Don't you know only men can be veterinarians?!" His attitude that I was some how intrinsically incapable of reaching my dream only made me more determined. I am not a veterinarian but that was my decision not his. I like being a veterinary technician. In the years between then and now I've met people who regretted not following their dream to work with animals. They listened to those naysayers and scaled back what they wanted and reduced their expectations of happiness. They became secretaries and waitresses and then mothers and now - well, now that their children are grown they find that they have an emptiness that no amount of shopping or soap operas can fill. They have become bored with scrapbooking and learning how to create DIY nail art. Yet they can't figure out what they want to do with all that free time. They look in the mirror and examine the face there and say, "That woman is not me." They are amnesiacs trying to recall that past life when they had dreams that could have been reality. And they can't.
I am so glad that I look in the mirror and smile at myself. I like me. Others like me too. It helps that I am free enough to be on the outside who I am on the inside!
Comments (16)
I've been having similar thoughts. The difference is that all I ever wanted to be was a wife and mother. Oh, I went to college, and majored in home ec. (they probably don't even have such a major now). I didn't continue that though, as I would have had to take organic chem. in a class of 300 students, most of them pre-med, snf tyhe first day the teacher said he was going to grade on a curve! I had gotten a D in hi school chem. because the teacher felt sorry for me. I changed majors to elem ed. Then I got married and started having babies. I was lucky enough to be able to stay home with them. Tom worked hard and long hours. I am still busy and have a full life. I've been blessed.
You were one of the lucky ones - you got to live your dream and travel to far away places and be a stay at home mom... you are one lucky duck!!!
Sorry, that "snf tyhe" should be "and the".
I'm glad you were able to do what you wanted. My girl who got married right out of hi school is the one who's studying to be a nurse. She's in her 40's now. My youngest, who graduated from college, is working in a factory. I guess you never know.
I'm pretty sure the attitude toward work/careers is really different between your older daughter and her youngest brother. Bravo for your daughter pursuing her dream - especially as a non-traditional student! I have to smile at my sons and be thankful that they are enjoying their jobs and working at reaching their dreams...
I relate to this post. I had a so called "uncle", a distant cousin of my father, who had laughed at me, for asking "why did this happen?" to some health problem that my father or mother had, and he had smirked and said, "look at her asking this question. As if she is going to become a doctor!" Little did he know that I wanted to be a doctor since I was four years old.
Naysayers like him and the guy who came to your school , should really move to an uninhabited island.
BTW Val, I heard that it was your birthday yesterday. Many happy returns of the day, and I hope you had a grand celebration.
Thanks for the birthday wishes... I am fighting another cold so haven't been real perky. I'm so glad (and I bet there are a multitude of former patients) that you attained your dream!! You and I had strong fathers and determined mothers who allowed us to dream big and helped us reach them!!
I like you too....in fact, I love you and hope you are spending your b'day gift on stuff you want instead of groceries, etc. Love your essay on this subject. You are smart and funny and cute and talented....btw, I will send you Larry's address if you want to send a sympathy card..I get teary every time I think about Anne Rita.
Thanks. I want to send a card. I've banked the gift and am going to put it toward my Geowoodstock registration!
I forgot to tell you that my 15 year old grand-daughter wants to be a surgeon. Right now though, she's concentrating on completing an on-line course for her driver's license. I would never discourage her, but she's going to have to study her regular classes a lot more than she does. She's a smart capable girl. She can do it if she doesn't get side-tracked.
I hope she can hang in there. There are so many voices that it can become difficult to find your own voice and hear that truth for your future...
Love the weird cup. I need one.
Hehe! It is a candle I was gifted by a woman at work. We eat lunch together often but she doesn't work in my department... It smells too good to burn - it smells like you should eat it!
Eventually I decided I wanted to be a nurse after belonging to the high school nurses club. Problem was I had not taken Latin and at the time they didn't want a graduate coming back to take it. So I did some home nursing before becoming a nurses aide at the local hospital. When younger I told my dad I wanted to be a police woman and that went over like a lead balloon and that was a time when women were not cops.
Times change. I'm so sorry you were stymied from becoming a nurse due to not having Latin. Most schools don't even offer Latin any more. When my HS Latin died they stopped offering it - they didn't even try to find another Latin teacher.
I like you too and I like that candle too! I think I should find one for myself!
Thanks! I'm not sure where she found this little candle but it smells so good!