December 27, 2016

  • Looking at a Second Christmas

    We are in Atlanta heading to Pensacola Beach today. Yesterday was a Hobbit-like second Christmas with my sister's family. We seem to be eating second breakfasts too! We distributed our gifts and received gifts as well. It was all good! According to a newspaper article by Michelle Singletary One out of every three gift recipients in the U.S. returned at least one gift item during the 2013 holiday season with the total dollars of returned gifts estimated at $262.4 billion! The reasons behind the returns were categorized by Deborah Cohn, a marketing professor at the New York Institute of Technology. She said there were 5 categories of purposefully bad gifts:

    1. Threats to self-concept. This is when someone buys a gift to try to change someone.
    2. To you, for me. This would be the category for the big-screen TV the husband purchases.
    3. Aggression - spiteful gifts. There are times when you are buying a gift and you know the person isn’t going to like it.
    4. Ritual and obligation. There’s no mischief intended but no thought is given to the gift either.
    5. Bragging. Their intention is to show off.

    I really try to avoid these categories of gifting. But I've experienced them. I remember the exercise bike Sparky bought me in 1991. It was not what I wanted and he seemed to be telling me I needed to change how I looked... I never did use that contraption. It was not designed for women anyway. He ended up using it himself. So it was a combination of #1 and #2 from the list above. I have to say that I've received too many of the gifts that fall into #4. There was the snowman statue, the red and green scented candles, and the leg warmers - all very nice gifts but just not "me". Then there are the gifts that are just perfect. They are not necessarily expensive. They can be hand made or not. They do however touch on a memory or a promise or even an unspoken longing. They are universally given from the heart. The gift is more than what is in the box. You know the instant when you open it that it was meant for you and you alone! That is what I strive for. That's why it takes me so long to get all my shopping done. That's why I start in January and attempt to get it done by Halloween. Sometimes I am successful and sometimes I probably fall short. It is hit or miss but I keep trying. This year's gift to my sister was a home run!!

Comments (8)

  • After this holiday season, I have weight to lose ~ second breakfasts sound like something I really don't need ~ but I would still enjoy them! :)

  • Yikes, I never thought about those 5 gift categories but I am glad that your gift to your sister worked out. How is your trip thus far?

    • We are having a great time! The beach is beautiful and the weather is 71 and going to get to 80 today!! The sun is shining and we are going to go for a bike ride...

  • Good post daughter! As you know, I let you all buy your own gifts....so if you don't like it, it is your OWN fault, ha! Only problem I have is getting it to you before Christmas!!! But the after Christmas prices are nice and will be good for a couple of weeks. I understand my own mother now a lot better.

    • The holiday sales have begun. I'm going to be a little particular about my purchases since there is not much I need right now. I am however looking to get a new driveway!

  • I can't remember ever returning a gift. I'm surprised no mention of re-gifting. lol Now we don't exchange gifts and daughter gives us a beautiful card. Guess who didn't have time or energy to get her one. sigh.

    After all the hubub in stores is over I'll scoot over to find half price cards for next year. Oh wait, I best go before then. :-)

    • I'm lucky that I don't often get a gift that is so not me that I'm tempted to regift. I did give a gift to my friend to use in her white elephant exchange - it was a 3-D decorative angel plate. Not that bad except for the glitter that had been used all over the wings!

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