No one wants to be the ungainly one
When pressed into a preference
We desire the speedy fighter jet
The stealthy spy plane
And wishes are granted
We return to life an insect
Fighter jet wasps
Spy plane gnats
Zippy mosquitoes
And some are the ugly ones
The helicopter like dragonflies
That with awkward lines
Make summer skies safe
Make me a dragonfly

Every now and again I am struck by the dissatisfaction that so many have with their lot in life. Instead of accepting where they are and then putting in the effort to improve themselves, they wallow in self pity. All they can say is that life isn't fair and they deserve better. So many fail to see that they are worthy just the way they are. Not everyone is the Prom Queen. Not every person is a MENSA member. That doesn't mean they are failures. I have gotten so very tired of the moaning going on. Instead of being a moth and wishing to be a Swallowtail, why not be the best moth possible? Instead of complaining that they have drab wings, why not rejoice that they can fly? We are strange people. Never satisfied. Always comparing what we have with what our neighbor possesses.

The above free verse satisfies the Winter Scavenger Hunt 2017 prompt #3 - Include a dragonfly.

What therapy do you propose
To remove the thorns from this winter rose
Or stop the hawk in diving flight
Or pluck the peach before fire blight
You see the pain of comfort lost
Through the window those tempest tossed
Words and pithy parables spouting
Your only aid is sermonic shouting.

I have to admire some of my friends who do more than "talk the talk". I'm referring to those strong individuals who are willing to make a difference by their actions. There have been a few who have supported efforts at humanitarian aid whether it was local, national or international. And by support I mean they physically went and built schools or churches or hospitals. They volunteered their medical, veterinary, educational or engineering expertise. Some distributed food and water and others opened their homes to provide shelter. Sometimes it was temporary and other times it was permanent by way of adoption. I applaud them. They have a fearlessness that I do not possess. Because I don't have the courage to take that step toward giving of myself, I try to avoid being the other side of that coin. You know the type I'm referring to - the persons who have many criticisms but no solutions. They can tell you everything that is wrong but have no suggestions to make it right. Several years ago a decision was made to move me out of my office. I was not happy. Instead of "pitching a fit", I pitched an alternative solution to the problem that didn't involve displacing me. It was a win-win situation. My boss complemented me and told me that he always liked when someone had a problem and also provided a solution. He said it made his job easier.

This is for the Winter Scavenger Hunt 2017 using prompt #2 - Use the words - hawk, therapy, window, peach, comfort. I wrote this stanza in rhyming couplets. I hope you enjoyed it.

I had a friend in high school who was my best and most valued friend. She was a year younger but we had so much in common. We spent time at each others homes, had sleep overs, shared clothes, traded books and music and laughed so long and hard that we would both be in tears. I went to college, she went to college. In October of her sophomore year, she dropped out of school to marry an older man. She was 19 and he was 35. I attended the wedding. There weren't very many people as it was a very small and seemingly hurried affair. He dressed her in traditional Vietnamese wedding attire as her wedding dress. As soon as they said their "I dos" she was whisked away for a honeymoon - destination unknown. She literally disappeared. About 7 years later I received a letter from her. She was living in St. Louis, MO and working as a paralegal. She and her husband (a career military officer) had joined the L-5 society and were personal friends with Robert Heinlein. It was an odd letter and I did write back but that was the last correspondence I had with her. About 5 years after that while visiting my parents in Muncie, she called my mother to get my new address only to be told that I was sitting a few feet away. Within minutes she was at the door. We had a great visit. She was in town to visit her father. She and her family were on their way to Virginia where her husband was being assigned as the commanding officer of the ROTC program at a big college. I gave her my address and she promised to send me her new address as soon as she had one. Again silence. For years. Then came Facebook. She looked me up and friended me. We played Trivia Crack and Words With Friends. She never posts much on FB (and I never post much either). I know that her 4 children are grown and out of the nest. I have no idea what she looks like as she never ever posts photos of herself.

Out of the blue her older sister contacts my younger sister and asks for my phone number. There is a little bit of back and forth and I consent to let my sister give out my phone number. Curiosity did kill the cat and I decided that with the cat dead there was no danger to this mouse. OH MY STARS AND GARTERS! This woman (who I knew slightly and was never a friend to) texts me her life story. A story of woe. Her husband of many years died in 2013, her dad died 8 months later in 2014 (he was 99 yrs old). She was looking for a place to live and after talking to a friend of a friend ended up renting from her dead husband's old college roommate! You guessed it they fell in love and were planning to get married as soon as she turned 60 in a couple months. They were waiting so that she could still collect her 1st husband's pension. Seems this last Sunday she went to check on him in his room and he had passed away. So she is now homeless. Then she added that her sister (my friend) was divorcing her husband for some indiscretion that occurred 20 years ago! If my math is right she is 57 and he would be 73 years old. Her sister's comment was that my friend has never grasped the concept of forgiveness. At that my phone ran out of space for her text. I'm not sure why she is contacting me and what she expects me to do or say.

So xangans what am I supposed to do? Any words of wisdom from xangaland would be appreciated.

You will feel stronger every day
Laying in your sick bed resting
Yet your muscles wither away
The doctor assures you it’s so

Watching endless days fade to night
You will feel stronger every day
Is it a wish, a prayer or dream?
But hope fades and life turns to gray

The nurse brings the medicine tray
A bitter drink that tastes like poison
You will feel stronger every day
She states with a smile knowingly

Too weak to eat or force a smile
No pretense of a song that’s gay
Teary eyes as they chant the words
You will feel stronger every day

This is the first prompt in the 2017 Winter Scavenger Hunt (2017WSH): to use the phrase "stronger every day". I wrote this as a Quatern. Which is a French form of 16 lines in 4 quatrains (that is 4 line stanzas) where each line is 8 syllables. The 1st line of the first quatrain becomes the 2nd line in the second quatrain, 3rd line in the third quatrain and the 4th line in the last quatrain. There are no requirements for rhyme or meter. I did use a rhyme that shifted with the position of the refrain line, just for fun.

I still have a cough that is lingering. My sickness is going on 2 weeks now. I think the medicine did more harm than good. Anyway, unlike the poem I do think I'm getting better every day but it is when the sun goes down that my cough comes to life. I'm calling this the "vampire virus" since at night reappears but during the day I appear to be completely cured...

Today is Sparky's birthday. Tomorrow is a baby shower for Sparky's nephew's wife. Normally I'd be all over that baby shower. But it is in central Indiana, about 4 hours away, and it starts at 3:00 PM. So I am not attending. Even if, and that's a big if, it only lasts until 5:00 PM. I still would be driving home in the dark. Alone. So I opted not to attend. Besides it is Sparky's weekend. I'm treating him to dinner out, a movie matinee, I may even indulge him in stopping at his preferred fast food restaurant. We never eat there because I just don't like anything on the menu. But he sometimes craves a Frosty and a Single at Wendy's. I'll smile and have a baked potato and he can enjoy his meal. I told him that I'm willing to spend double what he spent on me so I'm waiting to see what he wants to spend his $1.40 on. Actually, I'm considering a flat screen TV that can hang on the wall in the family room. He has been talking about getting rid of the entertainment center and the big clunky TV that it holds. Maybe. Maybe not. I was looking and Sam's Club had a 40" Smart TV for $289. That seems pretty reasonable. But I need to explore some other places to make sure I've got the best TV for the price. We currently have a 32" TV so it would be a step up but maybe we should think ahead for when we are nearly blind and need the 60" to be able to see the picture.... Either way we'll be together and having a good time. (He LOVES to shop for big ticket appliances so letting him drag me around to all the places that sell TVs would be his dream date!)

I have to admit to a little vice I have. I read online comics. I'm not talking about the comics in the Sunday paper that become available online after publication. I read web comics that are only published online. Most of them attracted me initially by the style or skill of the artwork. A few have kept my attention based on the story. That said, I've noticed a trend in these comics. They almost all have one or more angst-ridden characters whose teeth gnashing is directly relate to:
1. Depression
2. Gender identity issues
3. Having failed at preventing or completing a suicide
4. Abandonment

I've read many of these comics/graphic novels over the years. It is starting to be very predictable. Although a couple have had amusing and comedic elements they all veer back into dark topics at some point. A couple of them have wrapped up and a few were completed before I started reading. I'm starting to lose interest. I don't know if it is because of the sameness of all the stories that I'm becoming bored or if I feel that there isn't anything more to be said in the medium. I hope I'm not becoming inured to the difficulties surrounding gender. I worry that in the polarized environment in our country that those marginalized groups may lose their voices or I may lose my capacity to care. These may seem like minor issues to some but to me it is a terrifying thought that I may lose my sense of empathy and sympathy, that I could become callous to the situations of others. I find myself tuning out the radio when the news come on. I've given up watching TV. I flip through the newspaper and slide the funnies out and sometimes the Community section avoiding the national news stories. And now even the internet has become a more hostile place. I want the bickering on Facebook to stop. I don't want to listen to angry music and violent outbursts but that seems to be what the internet is made of lately.

Most activities fall into one of two categories: "use it or lose it" and "like riding a bike - you never forget". I've had my share of "use it or lose it" activities. I took 3 years of Latin and 5 semesters of Russian and I can't utter more than a couple phrases. I played the clarinet for 5 years and can't play a thing. I doubt I can even get a note to come out of the instrument without sounding like a strangled duck. I played the organ for a year and a half and have retained "chopsticks". However the other category still holds a few things that I can still manage even though I'm out of practice. I can still ride a bicycle. Yep. Even use the hand breaks without flipping myself over the handlebars. I can still drive a manual transmission even if my car is now an automatic. I can sew on a button and put in a zipper though it has been about 25 years since I last had to replace a zipper. And I can still write poetry. You do get out of practice. I feel a little rusty with my rhymes. I used to do a short story once a year but it has been more than a couple years since I started one. Even if it has been a long time since I made it a priority to write at least once a day, I think I need to get back in practice, to supple my writing muscles in order to be ready for April's National Poetry Month. Thus I present my own writing prompt:

Scavenger Hunt Winter 2017
1. Use the phrase “Stronger every day”
2. Use the words: hawk, therapy, window, peach, comfort
3. Include a dragonfly
4. Discuss something in a frame
5. Use the words: technology,
6. Use the words: heat, merit, blue, aardvark
7. Include the phrase “If you’ve ever wanted”
8. Use the words: poke, cascade, pause, gold
9. Mention a famous composer.
10. Write about love
11. Write about a treehouse
12. Use the words: biscuits, beat, choices, pink
13. Write about death
14. Discuss religion
15. Use the phrase “Curiosity killed the cat”
16. Include the life cycle of an insect
17. Use the words: trivia, sunglasses, stratosphere, petulant
18. Discuss shaving your head
19. Include a quote from Shakespeare’s play “Hamlet”
20. Include a disease
21. Use the words: cozy, lock, spite, iris
22. Discuss a closet
23. Use a dressing room
24. Use the phrase “I’ve never been good at parallel parking”
25. Include a broken promise
26. Use the words: prospect, scroll, fringe, glasses, flash
27. Discuss a distraction

I know this is posted a bit late but I've been sick... This is a recap of the Family Super Bowl Chili Challenge. Sparky made a Hawaiian Chili. I was not present during the construction of his chili. However I did have to deal with the resulting destruction of my kitchen. When I asked how he managed to get tomato sauce on the microwave, cabinet doors and the entire stove top, his response was, "It was an intense creative experience." His chili was made with pork sausage, tomatoes, tomato paste, onion, crushed pineapple, pineapple-peach salsa, chipotle BBQ sauce, chili powder, yellow peppers, and a couple spoonfuls of the deadly Mrs. Renfro's Salsa Verde. It was a little sweet and a lot spicy. The photo below doesn't capture the eye watering quality of the heat coming off this pot of chili.

I made the Black Bean and Sweet Potato Chili. I took some liberties with the recipe and combined several versions to come up with this winner (in my opinion).
Ingredients:
3 medium sweet potatoes - peeled and diced
1 can tomato paste
1 can petite diced tomatoes
1/4 sweet onion diced
1/2 can water

As you can see the next step is to simmer the sweet potatoes until tender. This took about 20 minutes after the pot came to a boil. After the potatoes were fork tender it was time to get serious. I added the following to the pot:
Ingredients:
1 can Hormel Chili no beans
1 can black beans (low sodium)
1 teaspoon Chili powder
1/2 teaspoon ground Cumin
1/4 teaspoon baking cocoa
1 tablespoon lime juice
2 teaspoons Amish Taco Mix

I let this simmer for about an hour to allow the flavors to mix. I then had Sparky taste it. I served him a couple spoonfuls in a cup. Frankly I couldn't taste anything because of the stinking head cold. I asked him for his opinion and cautioned him not to sabotage my efforts. He said that it was rather "bland" and maybe had too much tomato. That is what he said. But what he did was scrape out the cup and lick the spoon and ask for a little more because I had mentioned "complex flavors" and he wanted to re-evaluate the taste.

We packed everything up and headed to the Chili Challenge/Super Bowl Party. The competition was fierce - in the kitchen at least. As the Falcons were spanking the Patriots in the first half, we were sampling the various chili soups lined up on the kitchen counter.
This first photo is of the Red Chicken Chili provided by Sparky's unmarried sibling. Her contribution had excellent flavor and a big "burn" that only hit you after the fact. It was tempered by the sour cream with chopped cilantro she served on the side. This got my 2nd place vote.

This photo shows Sparky's sister hosting the party's entry, a Stop Light Chili. So named for the Red and Green peppers and the yellow corn. I tasted a small amount and quietly scraped the remainder from my bowl into the garbage disposal. It had way too many peppers. I was afraid that the single spoonful was going to result in an evening of burping peppers. It turns out I was right in thinking so.

Sparky's youngest sister made her version of White Chicken Chili. Although the photo doesn't do it justice, it had lots of chunks of chicken and a ton of white beans. The only spices were red pepper flakes and a single jalapeno pepper diced finely. It definitely had some "kick" but wasn't so spicy that you needed a beverage after a few bites. Although I gave it a third place vote due to the watery texture (it needed some thickening agent, possibly some instant potatoes) it turned out to be the winner!

As the evening wore on and the Falcons wore out I realized that the indigestion I was feeling was more related to the chili than the come from behind win by the Patriots. Arriving home we had to rearrange the refrigerator to accommodate 3 pots of chili. Sparky's job was to portion it out into single servings and freeze it for later consumption. We've had our fill of chili for the time being!

Sparky and I have a tradition for St. Valentine's Day - we eat out at Taco Bell. It is a long story that I've told before. Anyway I decided we should continue the tradition and have Taco Bell for dinner. It is always interesting to see who is having dinner there on St. Valentine's Day. It seems there are several types represented - the "I hate this day because I don't have a sweetheart" group, the "I refuse to buy into the made-up holiday as an excuse to spend money" crowd, and the "I'm dirt poor and this is as good as a date can get" crew. I was able to people watch. I categorized and analyzed, sorted and evaluated. We sat down with our loaded tray (we splurged and spent nearly $7) near a young woman with an infant and a young man. They weren't married and I'm not even sure he was the father of the child, but he was buying her dinner. I could just over hear that he had to leave so that he could get to work on time. She kissed him good-bye and shortly after finished her meal and left. It made me a little sad that this was as good as it was going to get for her. A pair of couples came in and ordered. They were dressed up and obviously Taco Bell was not their final destination. There were several fancy events going on at some of the local high schools and this group was no doubt headed to a dance. I wondered what would have compelled them to come to Taco Bell - the munchies? Anyway, we mostly had the place to ourselves until we were about to leave. The teens that slouched in made me wonder how they didn't run into things with their hair combed thickly forward over their eyes.  They ordered and sat at  a small table , huddled together an odd lot of Goth teens looking morose and slightly belligerent silently eating soft shell tacos. I imagine they fell into that sweet spot of the convergence of all three categories.

What did you do to remember that special someone?

I have had the worst head cold! I am literally underwater. My sinuses are completely filled with liquid. The more I blow my nose the more stuff comes out. It is an endless supply. I'm rethinking the "drink plenty of fluids" advice of the doctor. The fluids I'm drinking seem to only be fueling the snot factory in my head. And there is the other issue of The Cough. The Cough is a creature of monstrous proportions. It lays dormant until I want to speak. As soon as I try to make vocal noises it awakens and starts roaring. I feel like the little mermaid who has lost her voice. The Cough has prevented me from sleeping. Even with the assistance of NyQuil I still cough myself awake. Granted I'm too groggy to do much except stumble to the bathroom and back to bed - coughing the whole way. Sparky isn't too happy about it but he is the one who started coughing first. My initial plan was to attack the snot with antihistamines. That didn't seem to make any appreciable difference. I started plan B which included a decongestant. Still no relief. I resorted to NyQuil, Zicam, Mentholatum, and a humidifier. The only difference was the consistency of the snot. It was not a change for the better. I'm currently living on Halls cough drops, hot chocolate, and Vitamin C. The Cough has possessed my body and is fighting to take over control of my brain. It is a life or death struggle. If this becomes my last post, remember me as one who fought the snot with every ounce of my being and who valiantly took on The Cough only to fall during the battle.

The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the cold and cough. If you try it, you will be sick and lonely often, and sometimes frightened by The Cough. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself, breaking free from the hideous virus.
A quote by Friedrich Nietzsche altered by murisopsis.

P.S. I may have coughed up a lung and sloughed my nasal lining but I still have my sense of humor mostly intact (warped but whole).