October 4, 2016

  • Looking

    Everyone goes through a phase of searching for identity, purpose and passion. Some people find it quickly, almost without trying. They raise their eyes to the horizon and there it sits - leash trained and house broken. Others stumble around blindfolded shouting out "Marco" and listening intently for a faint response of "Polo". Every once in awhile there is the individual who peers through windows and looks into locked cars convinced that what they are looking for is in someone else's possession. And finally there is the clueless one standing in front of the refrigerator with the door open. There is the sincere belief that what they want is somewhere inside but they have no clue what it is.

    I always thought the search belonged to the young. However I've recently become aware that there are a large number of people who are addicted to the looking. They like the hunt. It is not in getting the prize but the process of looking for it! I can relate to a degree. Shopping for many women is a sport. It is not about making a purchase but in looking at and for that elusive perfect, must have, fashion item. I get that. I am also mystified by the adults who cast about looking for the "perfect" mate. They try them on and then cast them aside leaving a trail of disaster and tears. Sometimes time puts an end to their shenanigans as it becomes much more difficult to attract attention when physical aging can't be denied. There are others who refuse to be satisfied with possessions - always grasping for more, better, bigger material objects.

    I suppose I'm lucky. I've looked and found and I'm satisfied. Contentment means I can enjoy being in this place. My heart is at ease. I am not driven to keep looking and I don't compare what I've found with what others possess. When I see the blank stare as the refrigerator door is held open, and the searching eyes looking through my window, I feel a little spark of pity and maybe a little guilt that I have looked and found and they are still looking....

Comments (8)

  • You are, in fact, one of the lucky ones! I have long felt that contentment is a key to happiness -- and that continual searching is a sign of something lacking, identified or not.

    • I am contented and I see the restless searchers all around me... Those that can be happy with what they have are blessed.

  • Love your essay! I have been one of those lucky ones too....my feelings about that have been reinforced by some remarks by friends who have NOT always been as fortunate as I have been. Your father and I felt so greatly blessed to have three lovely, hard working, compassionate daughters whose names always ended up in the local paper for getting excellent grades too. The latter was sort of like icing on the cake!

    • Yep. Seems we all have been lucky. Survived the 1960s, the crazy 1970s, and escaped the 1980s without incident! Yep. We have lived charmed lives where so many went awry.

  • I love the comment by your mom. I was lucky too. I wanted to be a wife and Mom. I became a wife at age 20, and a mom at 21. I wanted a large family and had 7 children. As you know my husband and I were married almost 57 years. I do have to admit that sometimes I open the door of the frig and stare into it wondering what I want, but I think that is just because I'm old and forgetful.

  • I think maybe the answer to a perfect mate is being one. Our happiness depends upon us. Just my humble opinion. :)

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