September 27, 2016

• Looking Highly Amused

  I was shopping with Sparky this last weekend (as is our usual Saturday routine) when I was nearly incapacitated by laughter. Some who have met me and have gotten to know me know that on occasion I get tickled. When that happens I laugh myself to tears. I can scarcely breathe. I wheeze and snort and then I let out very unladylike howls. Sparky had wandered away as I was looking at the soup aisle. With fall upon us and the anticipation of soup weather in the future, I was looking at the broth. Well, I was reading the prices when I noticed what was written on the sale tag. I started to snicker. Pretty soon Sparky returned to find out what I was laughing about. (I think he was one aisle over when he heard me laughing.)
  

  When I see the word aseptic I immediately think in medical terms. According to the dictionary aseptic means 1. preventing infection. And although I sincerely doubt that chicken broth can prevent infection, it seems to be a popular remedy once you are sick. My next thought was that perhaps it meant 2. free or freed from pathogenic microorganisms. I had started to giggle at this point thinking that I hoped the broth didn't have any pathogenic organisms in it. I looked at the other labels and they didn't make the same claim. Did this mean that they DID have bacteria??!! If I were to purchase the seafood broth was I taking my life in my own hands?! By this time my eyes were tearing up. Of course the other possibility was the other definition of aseptic -3. lacking vitality, emotion, or warmth. If you have ever had the low sodium, no fat chicken broth you know that it definitely fits that description. By this time I was wheezing and Sparky was at my elbow. I was hanging onto the cart for support and people were clearing out no doubt afraid I was having a psychotic break. Sparky managed to understand my gasped request and took my phone from my shaking hands. He snapped the photos above. After regaining a little composure, but unable to capture my dignity, we finished shopping. Once home I wanted to find out why the heck they would put "aseptic" on a label. Turns out that the food industry has its own vocabulary. In food speak aseptic means free from the living germs of disease, fermentation, or putrefaction. When applied to a product, like milk or fruit juice, it means that it is marketed in an aseptic package or container which is a system of packaging sterilized products in airtight containers so that freshness is preserved for several months. So it turns out that although it struck me as hysterically funny it was accurate! Still, I will probably have to stifle a laugh every time I see it on a grocery shelf.

  • 6:17 am
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