I can't remember if I mentioned that our air conditioning went out. It is now fixed but there is more disaster looming on the horizon. Both the upstairs bathroom are in need of an overhaul. The main bath can't be used for bathing as the fiberglass tub/shower has holes. Both bathrooms are in need of new flooring and new sinks too. I suppose it is to be expected in a house built in 1982. We were looking at getting a new roof but that is on hold until we can figure out the bathroom situation. Then there is the cracking and crumbling of the driveway. Oy. We have been fighting the advancing hordes of ants for several years. Sparky has applied a special ant insecticide around the foundation and cut any trees back that might have been too close to the house. Last year he found a large hornets' nest in the attic. It was removed and an effective insecticide was sprayed throughout the attic space. It worked. Since the hornets can't get into the attic they have been looking for alternative accommodations. Sparky snapped this photo when he noticed a big pile of dirt in the mulch right by the porch! If you look closely you can make out a large hornet. There is nothing to compare it with for scale but it was as long as sparky's thumb and almost as thick! The mound of dirt was quite impressive. I insisted that Sparky spray the entrance and any occupants with the liquid insecticide. He eventually poured a quarter of the bottle down the hole. As you read this post, Sparky is covering the hole with the dirt and tamping it down tightly. There won't be any questions concerning the possibility of survivors!! I mentioned before I think I'm cursed: every time I mention a scavenger hunt post prompt in a post a disaster linked to that prompt appears! It is starting to freak me out!!

Laziest Summer Scavenger Hunt prompt #55 - attic

It was the last straw. She wet the bed. She glared at the assembled group of supposed “angels of mercy” and laid her head back on the pillow and stared at the ceiling. She felt that they were nothing more than vultures waiting for her to die. The whole ruckus had only taken a few minutes and was over by the time the infectious disease doctor arrived on the scene. He came to find the staff hovering over his patient, a needle embedded in her arm, and laying in a puddle of urine. He had hastily donned his gear and was standing just inside the bubble when the orderlies and nurse turned to exit. He did not have kind words for the nursing staff. Liz listened as he chastised them for thinking of leaving her in a wet bed. He barked orders for a clean gown, new linens, and for the nurse to give her a sponge bath. He came to her bedside and asked if she needed anything. She nodded. Within minutes the nurse was helping the tall doctor release the restraints. She was moved, cleaned and dressed in a dry hospital gown in no time. Her clothes were a total loss as they had to cut them away since her scabs made it impossible to pull them off.

The needle was still stuck in her arm and the doctor pried it out with a large pair of what looked like pliers. It didn’t hurt. He then sat on the bed and talked to her. He told her what he thought might be causing her scabs. He explained why she was in isolation. After he finished he asked if she had any questions and she was able to nod yes. She tried to talk but all that came out was gurgling and wheezing. He offered her a piece of paper and a pen that was stuck on the chart next to the bed but she couldn’t hold the pen. The doctor looked puzzled. Suddenly his eyes lit up. He jumped up and grabbed a clean sheet from the orderly. Within minutes he had the sheet taped to the wall and the alphabet written on it in large letters. Pointing to the letters he waited until she nodded and then recorded the letter on the dry erase board nearby. Her first message was “I am afraid” followed by “I am thirsty”. Before the doctor left all the nurses had a quick training session on the use of the alphabet board.

Here is another chapter in the sad existence of Liz using the Laziest Summer Scavenger Hunt prompt #63 - vultures. Before you all get in a twist about the depiction of the uncaring nursing staff, I just need you to know that there are 4 generations of nurses in Sparky's family. They are without a doubt the most caring and conscientious women you would ever meet. They are also aware that there are nurses that suffer from burn-out and compassion fatigue to the point that they cease to care about the patients. These are the nurses who need to leave the profession and get help...

The sleeping tentacles float
In the shadow of the passing boat
With sudden startle a squirt of ink
Octopus to ocean sand will sink
Mottled mantle blends unseen
Motion stilled remains serene

This is for the Laziest Summer Scavenger Hunt using prompt #70 - octopus. I present a little poem with rhyming couplets. Not everyone has the ability to switch from startle mode to calm in as short of time as the octopus. I'm pretty calm in the face of sudden emergencies. Unless of course it involves a spider. The small disasters that occur daily I can take in stride. Even big problems can be met with a deep breath and a steady hand. I try not to waste energy on things that cannot be changed or will have no lasting detrimental effects on me. That effectively eliminates about 95% of the worry. This week I let go of the worry of a new computer application I'm going to have to use. Have you tried to give up the worry about things which you can not effect change?

Liz cried herself to sleep. When she woke up the sun had been replaced by a bright moon visible through the window. She detected motion in her peripheral vision. It startled her and she turned to peer into the gloomy corner beyond the clear plastic wall. A nurse was adjusting her position in a chair by the door. A phone screen illuminated her face. Liz wanted something to drink, to move, to go to the bathroom but the best she could do was make soft chirping sounds to attract the attention of the nurse. The woman looking at her phone was so engrossed that she didn’t notice the patient’s efforts to get her attention. Liz stared at the nurse the way a dog stares at a refrigerator – using the power of the mind to achieve the desired result. The nurse stood, setting her phone on the chair.

She shifted into the light from the hallway. Liz could see the pattern of black-eyed-susans on her scrub top. It brought back memories of home. Her mother had gardens filled with flowers. The black-eyed-susans and the pink cone flowers were always thick, blooming into late summer after all the spring flowers had gone to seed. She wondered if the doctors had called her parents. She continued to stare at the nurse. Liz finally reached the end of her patience. She couldn’t move her hands but she began to pound her head into her pillow. The bed rocked creating a loud creak and metallic groan. The nurse flew to the bubble and pressed her face to the plastic to see what was going on. In a panic she called for assistance.

Within moments a crew of nurses and orderlies were assembled outside the bubble. She couldn’t be sure but it looked like a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors and the losers put on the isolation suits and respirators. The nurse approached the bed and Liz stopped her head pounding. She tried to tell the nurse that she wanted to go to the bathroom but before she could make her understand the orderlies had gloved hands on her shoulders and forehead and the nurse was stabbing her with a sedative. She found her voice and screamed. The sound that escaped her throat was the same as the trumpet of the Tyrannosaurus from Dinosaurs Alive. It unnerved the staff. The nurse attempted to remove the needle from Liz’s upper arm but it was stuck in the scab more securely than a crooked nail in hardwood.

Here is another episode of this Laziest Summer Scavenger Hunt using prompt #53 - black-eyed-susans. Some days are so bad we want to curl up and sleep them away. The problem is that we wake up and have to deal with the issues that are there. They don't just go away!

My husband Sparky was listening to NPR on his way home from work. He was completely fascinated by the radio program discussing toilet paper. Yes you heard me - toilet paper, TP, bum wad, tissue, and arse wipe. There are lots of names for the paper that is used to clean ones posterior after using the bathroom. The interesting thing (according to NPR by way of Sparky) is that the product was invented in the 6th century in China and eventually patented and produced commercially in the US by Joseph Gayetty in 1857. The shocking thing is that it hasn't appreciably changed in that time. Sure it is softer and biodegradable, and is safe for septic systems but it is still paper with which you wipe your nether regions. As we cruised the grocery aisles, Sparky was telling me that the innovation in moist wipes may provide a more thorough cleaning experience. And he wanted to give it a try. We were standing in the paper aisle in front of the toilet paper when we spotted the display of moist toilet paper. There was a wide selection: Wet ones, Cottonelle, Kleenex, Angel Soft, Charmin, and a variety of store and generic brands (this is entirely separate from the baby wipes). They ranged in size (10 count to 48 count) and cost from $1.99 for 42 to 3.79 for 15 sheets. That is a lot of money for something you use and flush away. I have issues spending $5.99 for 12 double rolls of the dry paper! Long story short after laughing our selves into tears at the product pictured below, Sparky insisted on purchasing some for his "grand experiment". Let the games begin!

She felt trapped. Her body was immobile. They had transferred her from the gurney to a hospital bed and strapped her down. The reasoning was that they didn’t want her to fall out of the bed. She didn’t believe them. The side rails were up and her hands were unable to manipulate the mechanism to release them. She wasn’t going anywhere. The nurses were keeping watch from the big observation window like sentries guarding a prison. The clock ticked away the hours. Several doctors had come into the room wearing funny scuba-like suits and mask things. They sounded like Darth Vader as they asked her questions. It was becoming more difficult for her to talk but they were patient as they listened closely for her answers. When they asked where she worked her heart skipped a beat. She needed to call Mr. Jacan in a desperate realization that she probably wouldn’t be able to go to work in the morning. He had a strict attendance policy; any no-call no-show was grounds for termination. She still hated her job but it was all she had and she wasn’t ready to quit. She struggled to answer the question and asked that they call her boss. The tall doctor assured her that they were definitely going to be talking to her boss and soon.

The nurses were efficient. Liz felt that their efficiency was the result an eagerness to get out of her room as soon as possible. From the inside of the plastic bubble Liz had a view of the skyline. The buildings were shining in the sun and looked bright and clean, not at all the dirty brick and stone that was at street level. It wasn’t until the sun was setting that a nurse came in bearing a tray of food. She slid it onto a table and adjusted the bed so that Liz was sitting up. The tray was rolled up to her chest and the nurse from behind her mask intoned “Eat up.” When Liz didn’t dig in, the nurse asked her if the food was to her liking. It took a few moments for the nurse to realized the patient was in restraints. Unwilling to release the bands around her wrists, the nurse decided to feed Liz. It was for the best as the scabs made it impossible to grasp the spoon. As the food was shoveled into her mouth, her anger and frustration grew. It was unfair. No one was helping her. The doctors were useless. The nurses were cold. She was being treated like a prisoner. As the nurse cleared the tray away, Liz cried dry tears. Her head was on her chest and her shoulders heaved with silent sobs of wishes denied. The bed was reclined and the nurse quietly slipped out of the isolation bubble leaving Liz to cry alone.

This is the next installment of the Laziest Summer Scavenger Hunt using prompt #73 - wishes.

On my mother's last day of her visit with me she managed to lose her new glasses. I looked all over the house. I examined the cars. We double checked all her purses. I went through the packed suitcase. After she left I deconstructed the guest room. I called all the places we stopped that day - Batteries + Bulbs, the Apple Store and the Mall food Court, and Goodwill. No one had found them (turned them in) in any of the locations. Then it dawned on me that I hadn't called the Wellness Center. She had been reading a People Magazine while I picked up my prescription. Perhaps it was there. No. They didn't find any glasses. The glasses were progressive bifocal lenses and they were causing her some difficulties in getting used to them. I'm rather peeved that they've gone missing. The woman I spoke to on the phone at Goodwill was very dismissive and almost rude. She didn't want to physically go look for them and basically said that no one had turned in any glasses... I am going to stop in this weekend to see if they have them. That will be my last hope. If they are not to be found, I think my mother will have to go get another pair. Perhaps she will go ahead and get the old fashioned lined bifocals as they might be easier for her to adjust to. I can relate to her wanting to see clearly as I have to switch back and forth between 2 different pairs of glasses. My work glasses are the same prescription as my home glasses however they are not the same! My work glasses are heavy with thicker lenses because of the material that they are made of. I think the focal spot is different on them too.

To finish sooner the Laziest Summer Scavenger Hunt I am going to leave you with this little poem using prompt #75 - tests.

We are a strange people
Fixated on tests and testing
We test into kindergarten
And test out of classes
We test the waters
And test our meddle
Make tests of ice thickness
And bone density
And still we break
Through ice and bones
Give a test and disregard
The results in favor of
The touch test
To determine how hot
It really is…

I've said it before but I have to say it again - I love my little car. I had to make a quick run to the store and back because, well, sometimes you just forget to get everything. It was always a groan inducing moment when you realize that you forgot that one important ingredient. What made it worse was the waste of gas to go get it. I still mentally kicked myself for forgetting the buns but it wasn't accompanied by the teeth grinding of the past. I was able to zip to the store and only spent 4 cents in gasoline!!

Here is a little poem using the Laziest Summer Scavenger Hunt prompt #56 - swing. I have to apologize for missing yesterday but it was a late night and an early morning with getting my mother packed and to the airport - no time for blogging. But I'm back!

There’s more than one way
To swing a cat
Or skin it as a matter of fact
There’s a wrong and my way
When you’re up to that
A tricky animal is a cat
Do it the right way
To avoid a spat
Of all claws and hissing cat
On second thought walk away
Set out bowls and leave the brat

In despair she weeps
The atlas is unopened
Her escape unplanned

This little haiku satisfies the prompt #51 - atlas from the Laziest Summer Scavenger Hunt. Today is the last day of my vacation and the last day of my visit with my mother. We visited my hometown over the weekend. There were many smiling faces that greeted my mother but there were some that were missing. As is inevitable when your friends are over 80, some had passed away or were in nursing homes and thus not at church. The most unsettling was the sudden death of a woman in her early 40s. She had collapsed at work. Her heart had stopped and although the paramedics got it beating again, she died in the hospital on Friday. She was attending classes at the seminary, working full time, caring for 2 adopted children (13 and 10), and doing volunteer work. She had preached just the Sunday before at church and was full of energy and enthusiasm. The congregation learned of her death at the service. There was an audible gasp. She had so many plans - she was going places. Unfortunately her plans were not to be realized. It was tragic but I have to wonder which is worse - To have plans, to be on the journey and moving to realize your dream when you die or to never have made the first move to happiness and fulfillment?

She was bleeding. The nurse was quick and managed to catch the dripping blood into a tube. Liz stared at the doctor and tried to give him a dirty look but her face was immobilized by the scabs. She wanted to cry but her tear ducts weren’t working. She wanted to tell him that he had hurt her but she couldn’t form the words. She wanted to jump up and run away but her muscles had lost their strength. All she could do was lay there on the gurney. The nurse and doctor had put their heads together and were talking about her in hushed tones. With their voices low Liz could still make out their conversation. They were trying to decide if her condition was contagious. She wanted to tell them how the scabs started as dry skin and how quickly it spread. Instead, all she could do was make little whimpering sounds and flap her hands.

The sad sounds attracted the attention of the medical staff and they turned to stare back at her. A quick glance toward the gurney and a knowing nod sealed her fate. Within a few seconds she was enclosed in a plastic bubble and was being wheeled into a room with an air lock. The doors hissed as they opened and closed. The nurse tried to reassure her that everything would be alright but she was keeping her distance. Shortly a team of nurses and doctors arrived wearing space suits at least that is all Liz could think to compare them to. They sprang into action ordering her to open her mouth, bend her legs, swallow, cough, do this and that until they ran out of things for her to do. At that point they had the first nurse gather a basin of warm water. She soaked her hand to soften the scabs that had taken over her fingers making it impossible to write and making her helpless. She was thirsty again and the water was so close yet so very far away. She got the nurse’s attention and with an almost ventriloquist style managed to ask for water.

Here is yet another episode of the Laziest Summer Scavenger Hunt story using prompt #60 - muscle. Poor Liz. She is so scared and thirsty and weak. And now on top of it all they slapped her in solitary confinement. At least that is what she was thinking.