January 6, 2016

  • Looking Sober

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    This is a photo of the gift I gave to my coworker aka Elmer Fudd. It was a bottle of homemade Slivovitz or Slivovitsa. It is a fruit brandy made from Damson plums. I'm not sure exactly how it is made but it involves filling a big jar with plums, sugar, yeast, lime or lemon juice and some water. Then it is fermented for 3 months or more. Once it has turned to brandy it is frozen and the water removed resulting in a very high alcohol content. At least that is what I understood when talking to the woman who makes it. This is Polish moonshine. I took a whiff when she was pouring it into the fancy red decanter and it singed my nose hairs. It smelled like paint thinner to me, a pretty, dark red paint thinner. When Elmer Fudd opened his gift his eyes lit up and he was happy (but not as happy as he anticipated he would be once he got home and uncorked the bottle). I am not a drinker. In fact I do not encourage anyone to drink alcohol. This gift was so far outside my normal behavior that it raised a few eyebrows. But I have been listening to Elmer Fudd wax poetic about Slivovitz for the last 10 years. He had been introduced to it by a neighbor. His neighbor was an elderly man who passed away and Elmer had never been able to find this spirit again. I was lucky enough to overhear a conversation (at church of all places) about how it is part of the holiday tradition for a parishioner to make it every year. She mentioned that since she can't drink due to health problems, she had an excess quantity of Slivovitz. Thus I was able to secure this gift... Fast forward to this week when we all were back to work after the holiday break. The conversation went something like this:
    Me: Did you have a good vacation?
    Elmer: Yes. The kids got too many gifts from both sets of grandparents. I may have to build an addition onto the house to hold all the new toys. How about you?
    Me: I enjoyed my time off and Christmas was good. We had lots of family time.
    Elmer: Thanks for the Slivovitz. I really enjoyed it but my wife is mad at you.
    Me: She is? Why?
    Elmer: Because of the Slivovitz.
    Me: Did you drink it all at one sitting?!?!?!
    Elmer: Oh, no. I still have plenty left. My wife had some after she had a little too much wine. She was sicker than a dog. She will never touch it again.
    Me: Oh I'm so sorry!
    Elmer: Don't be. I have all the rest to myself!

Comments (14)

  • Ha ha. It sure is pretty, but I wouldn't want to even taste it.

    • It smelled like paint thinner. I've been told it had a good flavor but I'll pass on first hand experience!

  • Lol This struck me funny. The first time my son tried drinking, he drank beer and then Champagne. He was sick four days and still does not drink. Lol

    • Yep. One really bad experience can turn you off to alcohol but more often people just never learn moderation.

  • That sounds wicked!

  • I am familiar with the beverage, though I have never personally drunk it. Poor Mrs. Fudd.

    • I suppose if she hadn't had the wine first she would have avoided the problem - still I'm not sure I'd want to try! She has recovered.

  • I'm glad the man enjoyed his present, but I feel for the woman. Her experience reminds me of the first and only time I tried tequila shots. I had been at a college party and already imbibed of other drinks when they offered me a double shot of this new alcohol with a worm in the bottle. Trying to be tough, cool, or whatever, I took it, and then a second. I got sick, and felt miserable the next day, but in reflection am thankful I did not die of alcohol poisoning.

    • I've never tried tequila. I saw a guy drink it from the bottle - his lips turned white and he shook all over. I surmised that it was evil. I never understood the attraction to alcohol as it was against my philosophy of "never pay to be tortured".

  • Can you imagine what the lining of the stomach looks like after imbibing the red liquid? If it made you recoil, just think what his innards do when he drinks it. Well, I guess he loves it, especially now that his wife won't bother with it.

    • I'm pretty sure it is poison - at least to my system! I suppose he has developed a resistance but I bet it makes his liver scream!

  • So funny! I think it could be used like medicine, by the teaspoonful. Some used to think whiskey could cure snakebites. :)

    • Yeah. They used to think that if medicine didn't taste awful it wouldn't work... this stuff I'm pretty sure would have worked great!!

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